How Can I Be Myself?

This question might be popping around in your head after hearing the evergreen phrase, 'Be Yourself', perhaps from a TV show, a friend's Instagram caption, an outdoor random sign or just an old memory. Regardless, you may want to know what is 'Being Yourself' and how you can be that. Grab a cookie, and let's delve in.

“Don’t let the noise of others' opinion drown your inner voice.” — Steve Jobs.

What Is To ‘Be Yourself’?

The basic idea behind the term is to be true regarding yourself, to never be what you are not.

To Be Yourself is to:

• Figure out who you are: The foremost step in the entire journey, probably. Unless and until you know what you are, you can never move onto understanding, accepting and being yourself. Self-discovery is vital. There are a tonne of areas you would want to know about yourself: what your tendencies are, what beliefs do you have, what matters the most to you, what are your emotions, what needs do you have, what captures your attention, what interests you, what are your values… ranging from a matter of hopes and dreams to personality, self-discovery is a primary step.
• Realise your strengths and weaknesses: Ah. Everyone has them, everyone wants to know them for a variety of purposes.

1. Strengths: Your strengths are something you can walk on, something you can use to take another step. It makes you believe in what you can do. It gives you confidence, shapes your goal.
2. Weakness: Many of us know we are lacking 'somewhere’. And defining that 'somewhere' is useful. Your weakness sends out an indication of what’s holding you back, where you might be hurting someone, what you need to improve in. Working on your weakness provides you a way in personal growth.

• Accept yourself: After figuring out your charisma, here comes the step where your chest can either shrink or swell. Every person is made of a heart and a mind that can not always be correct. The point is that what your self-discovery reveals is 'you'. Learning to accept yourself with your qualities and flaws is what makes you whole.
• Never be who you are not: This is mainly what we all generally mean when we suggest 'be yourself’. Steve Jobs once said, “Don’t let the noise of others' opinions drown your inner voice.” In a world where most things are done in a certain manner, and are expected to be done in that manner, we are all obliged to follow the rule. Very rarely do we ask ourselves, 'why not take a different route?' Sometimes we take, then go back for fear of being ridiculed or sidelined. And, that harms us.

Why Should I Be Myself?

Now that you have a general idea of what it is to be yourself, let's check on why it is important to be yourself.

• You have definite goals: When you know yourself, you get a map of what you would want to do in life, how you would want to live, why would you want to live that way or do that job or earn that degree. You know the reason behind your motivations. You have a focus directed in a particular direction.
• You learn and learn: Your self-awareness helps you in recognising out your beliefs or behaviours that are incomplete, knowledge that needs refining. Pride rarely exists when you are genuine, when you know there is always something you don’t know.
• You build courage: Let's face it. This could have been most of our New Year's resolution — that we would be confident, undeterred. But most of us fail at it as we don't acknowledge and accept our true flaws and let shame decide our image.
• You can establish boundaries: When you know your value, you know what standards you need to set for those in your life. You save yourself from unknowingly being at any kind of physical or emotional vulnerability.

How Can I Be Myself?

Here we are, finally. This may be one of the most arduous, tiring journeys you might have taken in your life. Whatever the difficulties, they are worth it. Here are three ways:

• Accept yourself: To accept yourself is to try to look at all your characteristics in an acceptable manner — positive and negative. It's easier to accept positive attributes of ourselves rather than negative ones.

You may be short-tempered, which makes you feel miserable sometimes, but you cannot change it if you blame your spouse's behaviour for your outburst.

So, how?

1. Face the truth: You can see it. If not, people who can see it convey back. Don't get defensive. Instead, reflect on it. Ask yourself what, when, why and how of a situation.
2. Identify where you slipped: This is vital. When you realise your weaknesses and flaws, you have a better option at acceptance, and subsequently improvement.
3. Accept the fault and forgive yourself: Don't beat yourself up for being what you're. You live in a world where even a positive thing has its own con. Mistakes do happen, and they indicate a chance at improvement, a change you can adopt to better yourself.
4. Strategise a healthy plan to change: Map out a process which helps you to focus on how you can develop from the negative attribute. Being yourself doesn't mean saying, "That's who I'm". Set goals, and never beat yourself up for failing at them.

• Remind yourself what you’re good at: While we try to help with our weaknesses, it’s common and way too easy to fall into the trap of seeing them. If we make one mistake, and another the same day, that often leads us to loathe ourselves, an agreeably bad habit we can fall into.

It’s hence important to focus on what you’re good at. No matter how tiny or small they seem, your strengths are a core medium to be proud of. It shows what you are capable of, how useful you are. If your weakness brings you down, it is your strength that lifts you back up.

• Express yourself: We are afraid of this, there is no denying that. Oftentimes, we wonder how acceptable our opinion would be or whether we might make a fool of ourselves.

Here’s the key; if you believe in something, be confident to put those thoughts into words and actions. Even if you appear to be contradicted, you have learnt how to handle that weakness.

Pretence cannot work the entire time in any matter, especially in things where we are damaged or wounded. Over time, it would end up with you having an extended set of vulnerabilities. Moreover, it makes you forget your real self.

Do not be afraid of keeping open the parts of you which people or even you do not like. Everyone suffers. In addition, being open might help others identify your problems, which can be a great source of support and help.

If I have mental health issues but I preserve a made-up version of myself so people do not abandon me, by the end of the day, I would get further miserable. If I share, there is a mighty chance someone, if not everyone, looks forward to give me a shoulder.

Before We Part

That's it, folks! It is difficult to be yourself, to have confidence in being open about how you are. However, being true about yourself brings you peace and ends you in a fulfilling and satisfied life.