How Can I Be Confident

Yes, I know. I’ve been there. I deeply desired it, I envied people for having it.

Today, from my observations of confident people, personal experiences, and open conversations, I'll share the seven lessons I've learnt to be confident in yourself.

Grab a cookie and let's take a look at what will get that easy feeling gliding in you.

• Everyone struggles: Do you think that confident people remain confident all the time? I never thought because I somehow felt inferior seeing their ease. I found soon that confidence is not something you'll always have, at each moment. James had written a global blockbuster film but to give that speech after receiving an Emmy, he still worried about going totally unprepared.
• Accept you’re, well, yourself: Your positive traits, negative traits, successes, failures, mistakes, brilliance — isn’t that all YOU? Positive traits are usually recognised by us. Why not give negative ones the same try? Unless you accept the negative sets, you won’t locate where the room for improvement lies. Don’t you think? Just be yourself.
• Show your vulnerabilities or fears: Right, you heard me right. Sorry, you read me right. Just been in the habit of saying so, I promise to not make that mistake again. Let's resume.

Yes, show people what you're afraid of letting them see. We usually hide our faults, incapabilities or even the way we're built.

Thin hair? We opt for toppers or wigs or hair fibres. Why? Why not let people see the real you and live with it whether they like it or not? Why do you have to change for some people who don't even care for you the moment you disappear?

Ask this to yourself and you'll feel your attitude change right at the moment. Be confident around people.

• Have a focus: This is important in the sense that you need a direction to know where you're going. How do you think you may be confident unless you've got a definite purpose?

If you’re confused, uncertain about something you wish to work on, do you disagree you will have confidence to pursue that? If you don’t know the what, when, why or how of something, you cannot believe you can work your way easily, smoothly through it without being surrounded by constant doubt and lack of belief in yourself.

Confidence is upgrading yourself, arrogance is downgrading others.

Pro-tips to be confident in yourself:

• Your Posture: This has been my personal experience.

I attended a group discussion in which I sat like I wished nothing more than disappearing into my blazer. Only the kindest one invited my opinion.

A month later, in the next group discussion, I sat relaxed and straight, rolling my shoulders. I held my chin high. The look of regard my peers directed at me gave my heart a flight. Moreover, I didn't have to remember my body posture at their response. It came naturally.

For a confident posture: Keep your spine straight, your shoulders back, your chest puffed out. While walking, take long strides and keep it brisk. When speaking, use your hands.

• Your Appearance: You wear an ill-fitting dress, and the untraceable low self-esteem that hits is a feeling… miserable.

Dress in a manner that makes you go wow over yourself. Remember that this is for you, and not for people to comment on you. Besides, appearance can only so far help as it is just that — appearance. Try wearing an oversized T-shirt and yet feel comfortable in it. The aim is to feel confident in your own skin.

• Think of someone you know who is confident: It doesn't have to be an actual person, it could be a character from a book or a movie. Observe them, their manner of speaking, their postures, their attributes, the way they may handle a negative situation.

Before We Part

There's a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Confidence is upgrading yourself while arrogance is downgrading others. Try to be confident without being arrogant.

That's it, folks! For every job interview you want to bag, for that new thing you want to try, for that presentation you want to deliver, I wish you success!